A Voice and a Choice

A Voice and A Choice

Ya  know, I never really felt I had either. I mean, I know I had a voice. I was very loud and hyper. I often was made fun of not only from childhood, but through my adult years. It’s just the way I am. It’s me.

After over 2,500 hours of attendance in an internship to obtain a state counseling license, I learned that it was ok to just be me. And that I was loved. And I was special. And I was accepted just as I was.

When I was young, I played basketball in my light yellow or my white dittos and went home wearing blacktop and sweat. I was a bit of a tomboy. People laughed at my laugh.

I was told that I might amount to something if only I could quit being so excited about life.

What most people didn’t know is that I came from a family who may or may not be like yours. There was a lot of dysfunction present. I tried to be loved by anyone I came across that would accept me and love me.

I remember becoming friends with many older people. I people pleased. I was whoever you wanted me to be, to be accepted and loved. I wanted to prove to anyone and everyone that I wasn’t a bad little girl and good for nothing, as these messages had been instilled in me as a young girl.

I remember, after many years of working on my own unhealthy roots that would hold me back if I failed to fight and work hard to put a spiritual  “Round-Up” on them, I was asked some simple questions.

A. What is your favorite color

B. What do you like to do for fun.

C. Describe yourself

I was stumped. I had lived so many decades trying to look good and please everybody else, that all I really knew was that I was a makeup artist named Dawn. I didn’t really even know who I really was or what I liked. I had spent so many years trying to be what you wanted me to be.

I LEFT MYSELF BEHIND. I HAD TO FIND THAT GIRL AGAIN.

And I most certainly did! What a new epiphany to know that I was loved, worthy, and should go about my life with no guilt , and unashamed for the places and things I had been at or been involved with! I related my life to how we are if we have a mask on. We sometimes try to be that personality that satisfies everyone else. And in the process, we lose ourselves.

I will share a poem and a visual picture with you when I check back in with you!

We have so much to live. So much to give. We mustn’t give up or give in.

There are many avenues out there that are specifically set up for you to take as bait. One is called “the Hollywood Standard” Let’s talk about that in a while, ok? Xoxo

Dawn Schultz

Founder, Operation Prom Girl

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